The Blue Book has a reading entitled ‘Keeping our Meetings Healthy’ that details ‘the three destructive forces that can create dissension and ultimately destroy the group’ – discussion of any religious denomination, gossip, and dictatorship.  It is suggested that you read this section and discuss it regularly at your group meetings. It is easier to establish a good habit than to repair a bad one.

Some other guidelines for Healthy Meetings include:

• Giving Advice – We comfort other members by sharing our experience, strength and hope – not by telling them what they should do.  Each member has to decide for themselves what path they want to take and the timeline for taking that path.
• Crosstalk – Making spontaneous comments either during or after someone shares should be avoided.  Brief, encouraging comments such as “Keep coming back” or “You’ve come to the right place” are permissible but you should avoid asking questions or offering your opinion about another member’s share during the meeting.  You can initiate a discussion with members individually after the meeting.
• Keeping the focus on us rather than the addict – It is not uncommon for new members to talk about their addicts and the problems they are having.  As a person grows in the Nar-Anon program, the focus should be on changes they are making in their lives rather than sharing war stories about their addict. One way to help rectify this situation is to have a topic for members to talk about during their share.  Some examples might be:

• • What changes have you made in your life to release control over the addict?
  • What boundaries have you set for yourself and how did you communicate these to the addict?
  • Have you taken steps to stop enabling the addict?
  • How have you incorporated detachment in your life?
• Group Conscience Meetings – It is suggested that each group establish a pattern of holding Group Conscience Meetings on a regular basis i.e. generally 2-4 times per year. These can be held during a regular meeting time, before the meetings or directly after the meeting. These meetings can also be held whenever a need arises. During this meeting, group finances, programs the group is undertaking, and issues that concern the members should be brought up so all attendees will be informed and participate in the decision-making process.  This meeting is discussed in more detail on page 4-4 of the Guide for Local Services.
• Nar-Anon Literature – It is important to use only Conference Approved Literature during the meetings.  There are many excellent books and articles that deal with addiction; however, these should not be discussed during the meetings.  Nar-Anon meetings should be devoted to sharing our experiences, strength and hope and not conducting book or article reviews or offering comments about other literature.  Again, these items can be shared after the meeting on an individual basis.
• Treatment Programs – Nar-Anon does not offer opinions about how to fix our addicts.  Our main focus concerns helping family members of addicts.
• Involvement of Members – It is important to get all members involved in leading the Group Meetings.  Some groups utilize a Meeting Leader sign-up sheet, while others just ask members that have attended at least a few meetings if they would be willing to lead.  An easy-to-follow meeting outline is provided with the New Group Packet discussed earlier.  This can be modified to suit your needs but the general guidelines should be included in any modifications.
• Member Sign-in Sheet – It is also suggested that you have a member sign-in sheet that captures the member’s first name, telephone number and email address.  If a member is struggling during the week, it is important that they can reach out to other members for support.  This list can also be used to notify all members of changes or cancellations of meeting due to inclement weather, etc.  As with everything in Nar-Anon, a member has the right to choose whether to share their personal information.
• Group Challenges – Occasionally there will be challenges that come up for every group i.e. someone trying to dominate the meeting, financial problems, low attendance, inappropriate discussion topics, etc.  It is important that you use contacts gained through active participation in the region or calls to the WSO to help get you through these rough times.   Everyone in Nar-Anon wants to see your meeting be a success and will offer suggestions about what can be done to help you through challenging times. Following are some suggestions to help with some of these challenges:

• • Low Attendance – Review the section – Getting the Word Out to the Public and do one of the Outreach Monthly Challenges.
  • Inappropriate Discussion Topics – Review the reading entitled ‘Keeping our Meetings Healthy’ in the Blue Book.
  • Dominate or long-winded sharing during the meeting – When this happens, it may become necessary for the leader or a more seasoned member to interrupt the person sharing with a statement similar to: “(Persons name), We thank you for sharing but not all of your issues will be resolved in one meeting. We encourage you to keep coming back and applying the principles of the program however we need to allow others time to share.”
  • Financial Problems – Have a Business Meeting and share where the donated money is being used.  Another possibility is to share copies of the article entitled – ‘Dig Deeper – 7th Tradition’ found on page 3 of the September, 2012 “Serenity Connection”.  This can be found at:  WSO Serenity Connection
  • Disruptive behavior by group members – Occasionally, there may be a member that exhibits behavior that is disruptive to the general meeting health. If this continues for a period of time, it may be necessary for 2 seasoned members to meet with this individual separate from the regular meeting to discuss the inappropriate behavior.  While holding this meeting, it is important that you center your discussion on the behaviors that are disrupting the meeting rather than attacking the individual.